HAVE EMPATHY

I get to choose how I react to every situation

I’m not one to play favorites, but this might very well be my #1 tip for building confidence. Because of my life path, this one comes easier for me than some of the others. My real parents were not the best, let's just say. But when I’m feeling hate or resentment towards them, who’s affected? Me. I realized if I can try to understand the “why” behind their actions and have empathy for them, then I’m back in the driver’s seat of my emotional well-being. And that gives me confidence.

Power equals confidence.

Having empathy for someone else—in other words, putting yourself in their shoes—helps you realize that most of the time, other people’s actions or words have very little to do with you. It’s about them. Once you realize this, you’ll be able to shield yourself from their projections. You’ll feel empowered to repel hurtful actions and words. Ultimately, only you get to choose how you react to every situation. To me, that is the ultimate key to confidence.

Sometimes we can harbor negative feelings from past or present experiences without even realizing it. These emotions get stored in the body and will eventually come out someway somehow. Better to acknowledge it and take control than to let these emotions rule your life and actions. By partaking in a "word vomit" exercise you get a chance to let these emotions and experiences come out safely and organically. By pinpointing and acknowledging any resentment or unresolved feelings, you're allowing yourself to get back in the driver's seat and disallowing other people to hold the reigns to your emotions.

I personally love a good word vomit session because you can let anything come out. You can draw pictures, misspell, use horrible grammar, or just write random words across a page. It's really just as simple as it sounds. My suggestion to you is to make it fun and don't worry about how ridiculous it may appear or what kind of silliness comes out. I use a pen or pencil and paper rather than a computer because I think doing it by hand makes it more personal and open to your own individuality

YOUR TURN:

Think of a time when an event or person made you feel so upset that you couldn't stop thinking about it for days and it affected other parts of your life:

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Now pick up your writing utensil, close your eyes, take a deep breathe, and try to clear your mind. Now open your eyes, and let yourself unload free of any self-judgement:

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GOOD JOB!

Take a moment to apply what you've learned about empathy and confidence to your word vomit. My hope is that you walk away feeling lighter and even more in control. If we assess and see that our side of the street is clean, then we have to be able to let things go and move on from past conflicts.

Today’s Mantra:

I GET TO CHOOSE HOW I REACT TO EVERY SITUATION

SHANNON’S TURN

I do not know where my real mother is and have not spoken to her for over 5 years. Last time I saw her I tried to give her a hug, and she left her arms limp by her side. I was there to pick up my brother's ashes because she had gone before me to get them from the cremation company. She wouldn't give them to me without me first giving her $600 cash. Why $600? Who knows. She doesn't do drugs, or drink excessively, and has not been officially diagnosed with any mental illness. It's hard to talk about because it just doesn't make logical sense to me.